Episode 2: Rush Hour

In the city, evening rush hour starts at what, 5 pm or so? In our house, it starts just before 7 and is often accompanied by loud "horns", traffic jams, and accidents. As chaotic as it can get, Jen and I have managed to keep the flow of traffic mostly organized, with minimal accidents. With the addition of another "car", though, our organization is being tested, and our current traffic management system is falling apart.

Quick question. How many of you used to, or perhaps still do, play SimCity? I'll raise both hands to that! I loved that game, and still do (I still have a copy if I can ever get it to play along nice with Windows 7). Next question...and this one may not be as well known. Anyone ever play SimCopter? I'm not seeing as many hands. I don't know if that one ever got anywhere near the popularity of SimCity, but the gist of it is you are a helicopter pilot in a SimCity. Your task is to fight crime, traffic, and fires. Kind of sounds like our house during rush hour...

The problem with young kids is that their little GPS' are in the beta stage. If they're not careful, they can quickly get off-course and not even realize it. The other night, I told our oldest son (age 5) to head west to go take a shower. He took one step forward, then something went terribly wrong and he immediately did a 180 and headed east to go see his baby brother. Fortunately, the developer is a solid programmer, and these diversions tend to lessen with age. But, for now, we are faced with four "cars" running a beta-version GPS.

Let's see what that looks like. Around 7, playtime ends and rush hour begins. Showers and baths come first. You'd think that would be simple, right? Well, our oldest daughter (age 7) has a tendency to forget things...namely her towel and shutting the shower off. Our oldest son has no sense of time (tonight he spent 10 minutes scratching his back instead of washing). Our youngest daughter just wants to be a mermaid and float in the bath forever, but then complains when her skin gets wrinkled. Our youngest...well he can't do anything. He's 3 weeks old. His game of choice is to cry as loud as he can while he tries to understand why he is suddenly cold and wet.

Brushing teeth and a visit to the pharmacy are the next on the list. The problem here is getting the toothpaste ON THE TOOTHBRUSH. It's more likely the toothbrush will end up on the floor, in the sink, or Jen's favorite, near the toilet, before ever getting any toothpaste near it. Once the toothpaste is on, we tell them to brush real good. Our oldest son has perfected the 1 second brush...he's spitting before we can even finish saying to brush longer. Our youngest daughter seems to be amused at the process of spitting and I'm pretty sure she does more spitting than brushing.

Jen refers to our island countertop as a pharmacy in the evening. The kids all take some form of allergy and fluoride meds (Wichita doesn't put fluoride in the water). We pretty much line it up for them, hoping not to forget who gave who what, while also being careful not to cross-depollinate anyone.

If traffic flows smoothly, there might be some calm time in there for the kiddos (primarily geared towards the middle two who seem to have an excess of energy). Otherwise, it's book time and off to bed. By then, traffic has usually lessened. Our oldest goes to bed later than the next two, but we still have to practice traffic management with her. In general, she's never in much of a hurry to get anywhere. She's the slow car in the fast lane, but totally unaware that others are trying to pass her. At bedtime, she tries to squeak in last-minute serious conversations. "Daddy, where do babies come from?" "Honey, your bedtime was 3 hours ago, how are you not in bed yet??".

We've always felt like an organized, structured system was the best way to handle the evening chaos. The problem is, if you sit down to take a 2 minute break, 30 bedtime minutes will elapse somehow, putting everyone to bed late. So, we hover. During rush hour, Jen and I are like helicopters in SimCopter, watching for traffic, crime, and fires. We never take a break (ie. land) for fear of losing time, or some crime getting out of control.

People, just like helicopters, can't hover forever. At some point you have to land. Three "cars" didn't give much wiggle room with our traffic system...a system not designed for four. We are realizing that if we try to keep the same system going, we are simply going to crash and burn. Believe it or not, we are finding that a little less structure and organization, as well as letting some crimes go, actually seems to be making rush hour more manageable...AND peaceful.

Peaceful is the key word there. Four kids equals chaos at times. If we aren't careful, it will also equal no peace. We don't believe peace should disappear when kids appear, but we have to be intentional about keeping peace, while still keeping a healthy flow of traffic. We still believe a set bedtime is important, but we choose to be ok if it isn't right at 8:00 sharp. Did someone forget to brush? We'll do it tomorrow.

Chaos in the evening at our house is as certain as rush hour in a city, but it doesn't have to be lacking peace.

Writer: Roger
Filmed: Wichita, Kansas