Episode 3: Stress Management

Episode 3: Stress Management 

Written by: Roger

Filmed in Wichita, KS

Within the chaos of parenting comes stress. It comes in different shapes and sizes, but it always comes. In the Martin household, it has always started with a cute face and blond hair. We're four cute blondies in and the stress has continued to multiply. Here's the thing about kids (yes, I was talking about kids this whole time in case anyone is still tragically lost in my little metaphor). Even at a young age, they all come prepackaged with their own stressors...some of which don't mix well.

Take our oldest son (age 5), for example. Incorrect grammar, sentence structure, or skewed seating arrangements gets his blood pressure rising. Our oldest daughter (age 8)? She's stressed by being corrected.

Imagine a scenario where our daughter comes to the dinner table and sits in the "wrong" chair (we're already off to a bad start). Pleasantries are exchanged and seats re-arranged. Life is good. But...then conversation starts. Our daughter begins telling about her day at school, while our son interjects at very inopportune times with "Well...", "I don't think...", or [insert any mispronounced word] repeated with the correct pronunciation of [insert original, mispronounced word]. About 3 interjections in and our very calm, even keel daughter briefly has a facial makeover.

Oh, but let's elaborate on this little friendly dinner scene. Our youngest daughter (age 3) gets stressed about improperly cubed pieces of chicken. Her way of trying to fix the issue is through a healthy dose of tears. Meanwhile, at any given point in the evening, our youngest son (age 2 months) may break out into a rehearsal of "Ave Maria" (for some reason, he only practices the aaaaaa part). His stress is hunger pangs. 

 If you think the above scenario is a bit far-fetched, our oldest son will quickly point out your error.

Which brings us to Jen and I. The above scenario equates to a lot of noise, which unfortunately for Jen, is one of her stressors. A stressed Momma combined with a flood of tears, a poor rendition of "Ave Maria", and a school story gone bad is generally the opposite of peace. This, unfortunately, leads to one of my stressors...a lack of peace. And, that's just dinner time.

Throw in a little sickness here and there, a parent who works rotating shifts, piles of dishes and clothes, and the occasional locking oneself out of the house with the kids still inside...and you get a quiver of chaos. For those wondering why we haven't asked you over to our house for dinner in awhile...now you know why.

For most, if not all, of us parents, stress is inevitable. And just like bad weather, there are times it can't be prevented. Even so, I strongly believe stress can be managed, possibly preventing the worst effects from happening. Intentional has been my challenge word this year. We have to be intentional in the management of stress. It isn't always easy and sometimes takes years to really get a good handle on.

If a stressor can be removed safely, go for it! Otherwise, instead of getting stressed about preventing stress, why not focus on trying to mitigate the effects of stress? In other words, be intentional about finding ways to keep stress from having as negative of an impact as it otherwise could. Generally speaking, a house can't be moved immediately prior to a tornado hitting it. But, action can be taken to put you and your family in the safest place possible when the tornado hits. Like tornadoes, stress will come. If you can't get out of the way, be sure to put yourself in the safest place possible. Set yourself up for success to weather the storm.

If you are struggling with stress at home with the kiddos and need someone to talk to, please don't hesitate to reach out. We are still figuring it all out, but would love to share what we are learning, or just be a sounding board.