Thursday, December 24, 2020

Episode 5: Social Distancing Part II

One of the worst parts of watching a show is the words “To Be Continued…”, especially if it is the season finale. Well, apparently our last post in April was the spring season finale. But good news! The budget has been approved and the fall season of the Quiver of Chaos is back!

We ended last season being faced with the uncertainty of COVID  – what it meant to be safe, how to stay connected, and how to homeschool without actually homeschooling. Deep down, I’m not sure we were convinced the storm would last as long as it has. But here we are, nine months in, and the storm is still going. Let’s get the cameras rolling and see how the Martin household is faring. Oh my, what is going on in the foyer area?? We’ll come back to that shortly…

School has returned, but it looks different. Some students have opted out of public school, with the rest a mix of in person and virtual. After a lot of prayer and thought, we decided to send our kids back in person. Our school system has done a great job of doing school as smartly as possible, but it wouldn’t be worth a mention if there wasn’t a little bit of chaos, right?

The school bus is a no-go, which means we drop off and pick up the kids each day. Jen actually likes this because it is an excuse to get out of the house (yes, we have still mostly stayed in the house for the past nine months, so any excuse to get out is exciting). Twice daily trips to and from the school (a 40 min roundtrip) means a tighter schedule in the morning and afternoon (naps, snack time, etc.). Oh, and our youngest daughter now goes to Pre-K, which adds an extra trip three times a week. Somehow Jen manages some magic and gets all three kids picked up in one fell swoop on time during those afternoons when all are in school.

Remember the chaos in the foyer? To keep things fluid and ready, we’ve basically made the front door foyer area a walk-in closet that is regularly stocked with backpacks, to-go snacks, lots of shoes, and a random assortment of jackets and hats. Cleanliness is still important to us, but you might not know it if you were to walk in our front door.

Speaking of our front door, the last time someone, without the last name Martin, walked through it was February. But don’t worry, it’s still getting good use. And by good use, I mean a regular pounding of small hands running in and out to play (our kids haven’t mastered the art of treating the front, glass door like it is actually made of glass). But an entryway into the outdoors being used frequently means the kids are spending more time outside. Even before COVID hit, that was a hope of ours. While the door probably gets squeamish when the kids run at it, the motivation for them running is good. And, I must say, the weather this fall and early winter in Kansas has been nothing short of great. Let the outdoor games continue!

Back on the education front, in-person learning has returned, but not without its challenges. Each day we cautiously check our emails wondering if the day has come to switch back to virtual only. So far that day hasn’t come, but it adds a level of daily uncertainty that wouldn’t be present in a normal year. So, each day and week we prepare the kids with the assumption of in-person learning continuing, while trying to keep them prepared for the possibility of change.

Then there’s the daily monitoring for any COVID-related symptoms, and what constitutes a call to the doctor and the school and what is just dust mites. This is made tougher by 3 kids who suffer with seasonal allergies, 2 who suffer with animal-related allergies, and one with food allergies. This means the probability of a runny nose on any given day is pretty high. Oh, and then there’s the baby who is still developing general immunities. In a strange turn of events, and by the grace of God, this cold and flu season has been remarkably quiet in our house. For reference, some seasons have hit us hard as early as September.

At school, pickup and drop-off looks different. The kids’ temps are checked before even getting out of the van. Too warm? No school. Once in school, masks are to be worn at all times, and any sign of sickness gets an immediate call to parents. There is no lunch in the cafeteria, and certain extracurricular activities no longer occur. The class sizes are small to allow the kids to be more separated in the classrooms. Some days all kids are present, but many days some are absent. Our oldest daughter came home in tears one day because she was missing a fellow classmate who had been out for weeks. In-person learning has its advantages, but it isn’t perfect either.

Once back at home, we’ve transitioned to having the kids get all cleaned up soon after school instead of waiting until after dinner. We clean their masks and water bottles and get them ready for the next day of school that we assume, and hope, will happen.

When warm days come around, we try to take family walks, or sometimes one of us will walk with a kid or two. Something other than being in the house is our goal, especially when the weather is nice, while also trying to be safe. We’ve found some favorite spots to walk and ride bikes, and sometimes we simply get in our van and take a drive around the city (about an hour-long drive).


Church is still virtual-only, but we try to treat each Sunday as if we we’re actually going (it helps to keep that time important). Typically, Jen and I will tune in to the livestream of the service, then have a separate time with the kids. Jen has done a great job making the time important for the kids.

For me, work has mostly remained the same. I still go into my office on a regular basis, although the lack of people in the building makes it seem like a perpetual weekend. The main impact to home life is that I telework from time to time (something I never did before COVID). On the infrequent days this occurs, I help get the kids off to school, then it’s off to my makeshift office (a desk in our bedroom) for 8 hours. The commute is stellar!

As chaotic as the world has been at times, we’re finding ways to keep the chaos minimized at the house. It’s required a change in priorities, a renewed focus on being content (not the easiest sell), and some extra creativity.

We hope life returns to a more “normal” state soon, but we also hope that the lessons learned in quarantine will have a positive impact moving forward.

Written by Roger
Filmed in Kansas

Tuesday, April 7, 2020

Episode 4: Social Distancing Part I

On March 12th of this year, I told Jen it's time to shut it down. I mean, like really shut it all down. A "storm" was coming and we needed to take shelter. Here in Kansas, taking shelter is a regular occurrence. For our family, that involves 30 minutes or so of being in close quarters in our safe room, hoping the storm passes by without much fanfare. We do what we can to keep four kids calm during that short window. While it can be inconvenient, it's only a short time and it's worth it. I'm all for sheltering and taking appropriate actions, but I was less-than-enthusiastic thinking of telling Jen that she and the kids would need to "shelter" for weeks, possibly even longer, as we prepared for the arrival of  "storm" COVID.



For those who don't have kids, let me confirm everything you've heard...parents need breaks. This is especially true for any parent, like Jen, who stays at home with the kids for significant amounts of time. Nothing wrong with that, but boy did I have concerns about some of those breaks being unavailable for awhile, at least in the traditional sense.

Three weeks in, the house is still standing, Jen hasn't run away, and the kids haven't staged a coup! Being cooped up in the house hasn't been nearly as bad as I worried it would be, but it's also not been perfect. Let's take a peak into the Martin residence and see what weeks at home with four kids looks like...

To give a little background, we made the decision, from the beginning, to halt anything that involved leaving the house or being around people. At least one of our kids falls into the  higher risk category, so we want to protect her and, of course, anyone else in that category (outside of our home). The exceptions to staying home have been for work (certain parts of my job can't be done through teleworking), groceries, or emergencies. That last one is trickier than you might think.

When you take away school and other regular outings, kids get bored. In the past three weeks, we have had at least two "near-misses" for ER visits (doctor's cleared us for home monitoring with both). One incident involved a head-on-collision in the hallway and a loose baby tooth (it needs to come out anyway!). Another incident involved our oldest daughter injuring herself while re-enacting how she almost injured herself. Yeah, think about the irony of that one for a minute...

School has returned for our oldest daughter (age 8), but it's like homeschooling on steroids. We get a lesson plan emailed to us each week, along with a week's worth of homework assignments. Jen LOVES it...truly. The only thing she has to figure out is how to log into the 300 different websites the school uses for lessons, which can be tricky with rolling passwords and a daughter who doesn't know what ITO means.


Meanwhile, our youngest daughter (age 3) is thrilled to have her older brother and sister home. Playtime buddies! Interestingly, they've been playing doctor a lot and our oldest daughter even went as far as to build a mock hospital. Interesting because we haven't talked about the virus much with the kids. Heck, we still haven't actually told our oldest son that preschool is done for the season (we're working up to that one).

Hanging out with the neighbors and friends from school has turned virtual. Thank God for Skype, Zoom, Facebook, and Google Hangouts! Our oldest has even practiced "parallel play" with the neighbors (each playing the same thing, but in their own driveways). One family has regularly left messages in chalk on our driveway for our kids. It's been neat to see even the kids find creative ways to stay connected.

Back inside the "shelter", Jen and I have been doing a lot of Skyping with friends and family. My family started having weekly Zoom "meetings", just for the adults. It's good to have adult conversation and to see each other's faces (Facebook reminds us the importance of seeing faces). Our oldest has regular Zoom meetings with her teacher and her class. Somehow the teacher was able to get each of the kids to mute their mics. #success Our church has also started doing services over Zoom, although trying to get the kids to sit still in the living room doesn't have quite the same effect as it does at church.



Outside of the rogue, anomalous cold front, the number of nice weather days continues to increase with spring well underway here on the Plains! The ability to go outside is great for all of us. Three of our kids deal with outdoor allergies, but so far so good on that front, even with increased outdoor play.


This "episode" is titled Part I because Part II hasn't been written yet. There will probably even be a sequel to that sequel. Is that a threequel? Where appropriate, I believe it is good to find some humor in the midst of sadness. But, don't let that fool you into thinking life is perfect in the Martin casa. Cabin fever, unscheduled homeschooling, and a temporary hold on outings does take a toll. Oh, and there is this whole uncertainty thing.

Times like this require more intentionality...to smile, to stay connected, to love, to listen, to act in wisdom and not fear, to be creative. With everything going on, we hope our posts remind you that your aren't alone in the struggle to raise kids in the middle of a pandemic.



Written by Roger
Filmed in Kansas